I stopped going to raves a year and a half ago. 

I miss them sometimes.  The dancing was contagious.  The music was incredible.  The people were…the people were…Korean?

Let me take you back a bit.  In junior high and high school, I was seen as an oddity as a Korean American.  I wore funny charm bracelets and fluorescent clothes that were way too big. I listened to some strange music called hardcore (not the electronic kind) and jungle (the electronic kind).  I never really kicked it with other Asians, unless they were into the same things I was into.  I don’t know, I just never got into the whole clubbing, cigarette-smoking, dong-seng, hyung-nim (social hierarchy) thing.  And for that particular reason, I was seen as an oddity.

Fast forward to my first year at college (1997?).  I’m at “Something Wonderful” with a few friends when something catches my eye.  Out of all the fuzzy pants, orange vests, and creased visors, there’s a foursome of Armani white button-ups, sharp vests, and pleated khakis.  We could not believe it… of all places, there were K-townies up in a rave!  In hindsight, I wish I had a camera that night, because I was witnessing the birth of a phenomenon that mystifies millions to this day.

For months to come, I would gape at how popular raves were becoming amongst Asian teens.  No joke, people from my church were asking me if I was going to “Audiotistic” or if I had taken Green Triangles.  It seemed so silly to me – only a year before, these same people had asked me if I was gay because they didn’t understand the lifestyle.  Now, they were hawking the look like JNCO salesmen.  The “Asian Newbie raver” monstrosity was, quite honestly, an amusing spectacle.  You could literally watch the conversion of Asian clubbers and gangsters into raging candy-kids as each rave rolled by (no pun intended).  First, they wore their clubbing clothes (cigarette pants and Gucci whatever) and danced like they were at the typical night club.  Then, they would step out on a limb and try on some Kik Wears, but they kept the long sleeve button-ups and tucked them in.  After two massives and six hits of E, they reached maturity, and danced like they were on the Nordic Track from hell.

I think what perplexed me most about the Newbie phenomenon was that none of them really seemed to think it odd or unnerving that 90% of the Asian American population had become “ravers” within the blink of a glowstick.  From Irvine to Manhattan, anyone of Asian descent was doing the new, cool thing.  “Hey!  Now I’m gonna act like a complete lunatic, dress all crazy, and bump that funky trance music by any DJ with the first name Paul in my lowered space shuttle.”  These Newbies seriously changed their behavior once they jumped on the bandwagon, and boy, was that a trip.  They were asking me where I bought my big pants, how I could dye my hair pink, and where they could find any CD with the words “Trance” on it.  What’s more, everyone else that had been involved in the rave scene at the time had definitely taken notice, and not everyone was ecstatic that their jungle party had turned into a Korean club of comatosed E-tards.  It sucks, but I did run across a few racist messages on rave discussion boards online…

So what’s my point?  I’m not really sure, but I’ve seen my own response to the Newbie phenomenon go through its own life process.  At first, I was pretty stoked to see some fellow Asians partaking in, what was once, a predominantly Caucasian event.  It’s nice to see Asians doing a non-Asian social thing, especially in a society where we feel most comfortable bonding with those who understand our culture.  As the years went by, I grew pretty disheartened.  Why?  Maybe it was because I felt like Mr. O.G. Raver and these fools were trespassin’.  Maybe it was because people who had scoffed at me throughout my life were now engaging in my own social scene.  Or maybe because it was so disturbing watching normal friends and classmates go through a complete identity makeover in a matter of Saturday night parties.  I have never seen anybody embrace a new identity as Asian American teens and twenty-somethings have with the rave scene these past few years.  I’ve been labeled a “sellout” one too many times in my life, and now I find myself asking who was selling out, hundreds of kids at a time?  And I don’t think I’m alone anymore.  As a matter of fact, I’ve seen quite a few kids who were newbies yesterday complaining about the newbies at raves today.  Wow, now that those pills have worn off, I guess people are coming to their senses.

These days, I’ve gotten over the whole Newbie ordeal, and for that matter, raves in general.  My younger brother in high school tells me how all the 14-year old Asian kids hop around twirling pencils like glowsticks.  The DJ Club at school still invites me out to their occasional party.  Every now and then, I’ll see some kid in my class with some dyed-red bangs and pants that’ll fit a small nation.  He’ll ask me if I’m gonna go see some Paul somebody spin at some Electric-Butterfly-Sweet-whatever on Friday.  Nah, I’m going out clubbing.